Waiting!!

I have waited, waited forever. Waited for things to change in my life; have I done enough to let the change happen?
I don’t know. But I keep waiting for the change, hoping that something new will happen now, this very moment. Nothing ever happens; am I not doing enough for my life to change?
Waiting is what I have done, patiently very patiently.

The only thing that has ever changed for me is time.

I have hope, hope that something new will happen the very next moment. Hope that I will be called and will get the news of change; Change from waiting for things and life to move on.

The biggest fear of my life; something that I feared as much as I would fear a large serpent with its hood ready to strike me at any moment……. and that my legs are stuck with fear. I could run but my legs have become so heavy that I just cant, no matter how hard I try.
The same fear has come true: “of yesterday being the same as tomorrow.”
I hate days where I can tell what I would be doing a week from now.
I had imagined a life of adventure and fun, where tomorrow would always be a present yet to be opened; where I could only guess its contents.

However I have waited for things to happen. Not that I have nothing to do, but the things I do hardly ever matter.

I know I could do many things. It’s this choice that keeps me from doing anything. As I have many choices it’s hard for me to choose one. But I chose “this.”

The voice in my head says just wait a little longer, your life will change. The vice in my life is shouting at me “enough of waiting”.

But I am still waiting.

Ninad Dighe.