Happily ever after!!

Our fight for existence never ends, and why should it? We strive for excellence every moment of our life. Career, relationships, luxuries and status we need it, no we want it, there is no end. Yet but we do not like change and definitely not struggle.

Pain is a part of life as not everything we get is easy; we need to take the risk to better our lives. There is struggle, anxiety and hope but in patience we wait for the right moment to come. With pain in our heart and hope in our eyes we wait and wait and wait, not knowing the outcome, still pushing through the tough times; we know deep within they shall end. The only thing we can do is try harder. Keep reminding ourselves this is not a mistake nor is this the end. For every step we is a step closer to freedom, freedom of better choice. As reaching our goal does not mean stopping in triumph in glory of our victory it just means we have won just a battle and the war awaits us. Don’t give up hope on losing either for you are still alive, take charge of your losses know your mistakes better and come back as strong as ever.

My mind is deep in thought, “I have tried hard but victory just eludes me, I am still not a winner and am losing my passion to carry on. Now look everyone is sympathizing for me. How but how do I look forward to victory for I see nothing in front of me.” Look I say to myself, “ is this what you want? is this your destination? NO, then why stop here? Carry on further, it might take time and hard you might have tried but now it is time for you to try harder.”

Faith in our hope, that what keeps us going. As we all know how it is going to end but we don’t know how we are going to get started. All we can do is trust our start and take the first step towards the end that we imagined. And as in fairy tales it will all end “happily ever after!”

Cheers,

Ninad Dighe.

What Idols really means.

Over the years I believe that we have come a long way from the true meaning of what the idols in Hinduism really mean. We have just accepted many things to be true without a question mainly because we are brought up with ideas of our forefathers without questioning them. We have learnt to accept things because they are thought to be true by everyone around us and anyone questioning them are thought to be rebels; who have not been regarded highly in a society which I believe is formed on lies. We see this behaviour in our education system, our government, our corporate structures and cultures alike. If you think deep you might agree with me but overall these opinions are mine alone and you have the right to question them and from your own thought set up your opinions, whatever works best for you.

I got a chance to read a graphic novel on Shiva the Hindu God in which is the description of the Hindu God Ganesha. According to the author Deepak Chopra, who explains that the idol of Ganesha is a philosophy or a way of life more than a God in whom we put blind faith but except it as a model which should remind us of how to live our life. I detail that way of life here, as the Mr. Deepak Chopra’s description of Ganesha matches with my thoughts of the deity.

We all know Ganesha the Hindu God as an elephant headed God with a huge stomach, having four arms with a snake around his belly standing on one foot with his vahana (vehicle) a rat. Symbolically broken down as following:

Large head: We must think deeply and not just say whatever comes to our mind but rationally put forth our ideas.

Large ears: We must listen more and talk less.

The broken tusk: It is to reminder us that no one is perfect, even if it is God himself. So we must learn to accept people with their faults and not be ashamed of our own faults.

The long trunk: It denotes power as well as discernment. Just like an elephant who can uproot trees with it and when needed pick an needle from a haystack. It means that power is not freedom it comes with responsibilities to care for the week and provide a helping hand to those who don’t have the power.

The large stomach: Where most Hindus give the God offerings of food which we see as modaks in one hand of (an Indian sweet) every Ganesha’s idol. It means we must know that there is someone who always cares for us, and the offerings are our worries and anxieties for which we can find solace in God or speaking about them to other who may be able to help us.

Snake as his belt: Symbolises our ego which we must not let it get to our head because lives and countries have been destroyed by a person’s ego alone.

One foot on the ground and other in the air: It reminds us that no matter how high in the social structure or power we get, we must not forget our roots as humans and who we really are. As what has begun has to come to an end someday.

The four hands: One hand he carries sweets as explained above.

In the second he has a rope which means we must always strive to climb higher and strive to make ourselves better human beings. In the third hand he has a Vedic book which represents knowledge; I need not explain the importance of that. Lastly in the forth hand he carries an axe which reminds us that we must destroy our ignorance and arrogance with the power of knowledge which is again represented by book in his other hand.

Rat nibbling at the food close to his feet: The rat symbolises our greed and temptation which is the main cause of all the worries which is symbolized as food here. Do not let greed overpower your ambition and let it not rule your will to achieve your goals, it will only lead to stress in your life.

Doesn’t it sound like all the self help and success books you have read? My point is, understand what these Idols represent rather than just praying to them because everyone prays. Overall consider any religion the bases and foundation of them are the same and to remind its followers of these there is an Idol which is created. All idols have a meaning a way of life embedded in them, embrace that ideology and follow it. There are millions of idols which represent a particular way of life, and they are there for us to be reminded of that philosophy. Hence when we see an idol it must remind you of that way of life. Thu you can make your own visual representation of these Idols and follow what best suits you.

Thanks for reading.

Cheers,

Ninad Dighe.

The Right Balance

Why is it so difficult to strike a balance between what is good to do and what is right to do?

I believe when just one person (me) is concerned in a decision you can balance right.. but when your decisions influence or require the consideration of more than just you (many people).. The decision you make is a balance not of what you want but the collective wants of all the people involved... but that is the right balance though you might think it is not your balance.

Cheers,

Ninad Dighe.

Forgotten Truth

Hindu’s holy book Bhagvat Geeta which literally translates to ‘the word of God’, is a book of Hymns which speaks of philosophy of life. It is a story on a battle field telling what is the right thing to do and how we should be accepting life as it is. Whenever I feel low and whenever I worry about what to do I read the below summary of the book. I have translated it here in English; it always brings my sprit up, because it is not about religion here but a philosophy, a truth which we always forget. Hope it does some good to you.

That what happened, happened for good,

What is happening is happening for good.

What will come your way, will come only for the best.

What have you lost, for which you weep?

What have you brought with you, that which you have lost?

What have you created that which has been destroyed?

That what you took, you took from here;

That what you gave, you gave it here;

That what is yours today, wasn’t yours yesterday;

Tomorrow it would not be yours to keep.

You were born with nothing and you shall die with nothing.

Change is the only truth of life.

Bhagvat Geeta.

Cheers,

Ninad Dighe.

Do we have a Choice?

The world today as we know is the only way it could have been. You might not agree with me on this but that is something I ponder upon.

We have choices to make and each of our choices even though very hard to conceive; we do certain things of which the consequence is our present. Had we done things differently in the past now that we know the consequence of that choice in the present, would you change your choice? Might be the answer to that question would be yes, for many. However at the said point in your life you chose to follow the present path and if I ask why? You would probably say that that was the best choice then. So the fact is you did not have a choice after all, since you just followed what was best for you. And at present you cannot change the past that leaves you will no choice at all. All you can do is change your present and that is the best thing you can do to make changes in your life so then that is not a choice again.

The world at present is the collective choices of all the people in the past. So it is true for the future, that the future of the world is the collective choices of the people in the world at present. As they say when a butterfly flutters its wings in Mexico could cause a hurricane in the US, is for much true. Who would have thought that an act of a falling apple would one day land a man on moon. Or for instance Columbus had got what he was looking for and not discovered US, we would have had a very different world today, might be a better world or much worse.

The question really is do we have a choice? Or just doing what is best for us, is it a choice? When given choices and if we just follow what is the best for us to do at that moment in time and that is the option that we will always chose, then is that choice?

For example when you have been hungry for 2 days and you are presented with an option in front of you or a choice:

Freshly baked cake and a cake which is stale 5 days old with maggots, what would you chose.

Is there a choice in that?

Once your character or personality is built I believe we stop making choices whenever we are presented with an option we will always go for the best option available to us that is hardly a choice. What I mean is that always going for what best suits you even though when you say I have 10 choices, is not choosing or just following what you had already made up your mind about.

I hope I have been able to put in words what I meant to say. In the end if we just don’t have a choice, is everything just destiny? I have no answer to it myself.

Cheers,

Ninad Dighe.

The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)- My Take.

I had heard a lot about the book written by Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist and always wanted to read it. Considering it is one of the few books which has been translated in many different languages, it has to have something special, that it is a motivational book different from the rest- that is what I heard. After reading it I did realise, that the hype surrounding the book, in its true sense is not exaggerated and I am glad that I read it.

It is a story of a shepherd who is guided in his quest to fulfil his dream. In my blog I am not going to give a summary of the book nor am I writing a review. What I present here is my interpretation of what message the author wants to put forth. Everyone will have their own interpretation of the story, this is mine.

The Theme

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." Is the main theme put forth" by Mr. Paulo Coelho. No matter what your dream is you will achieve it if you keep to it.

In your Quest

Certain things will happen which will test your willingness to retain the quest of your dream. But if you overcome the hard times with a will to achieve what you aspire these hurdles shall pass. Hurdles are put in your way just to separate the weak from the determined. For, if everyone one has the same goal only those whose determination is stronger than the rest shall pass to the next stage. As quoted in the book, “Every search begins with beginners luck and ends with the victor’s being severely tested.”

Gain Some, Lose Some

You might not get exactly what you wanted, in your path to success you will lose some but gain a lot in the bargain. As you may learn new skills, start to appreciate certain things and above all gain knowledge far superior than what books can teach you. As quoted in the book “When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision.”

Be Ready

Learn to listen to the signs of the universe. When you desire something dearly, opportunities come knocking at your door be wary of them. Learn to grab those opportunities; for, if you nap for a moment and don’t hear that knock you won’t lose but you will have to wait a bit longer. As the universe has its mysterious ways of getting you to your goal and none which show you the path directly.

As quoted in the book, "Not always in this way, but I always appear in one form or another. Sometimes I appear in the form of a solution, or a good idea. At other times, at a crucial moment, I make it easier for things to happen. There are other things I do, too, but most of the time people don't realize I've done them."

In the End

Mainly don’t expect thing to come to you and don’t be surprised if you don’t get exactly what you are looking for as what you get would be much better in return. Nevertheless you will always be richer in the experience.

I would recommend the Alchemist to any anyone who wants to read a good book. The beauty of the book is it does not give you steps to success. It tells you are story, and a very powerful one which is open for any interpretation as the reader pleases.

The author refers to the word Maktub quite a few times. Maktub means “it is written” or what has to happen will happen. Hence if you keep the pursuit of your dream it is your MAKTUB.
So my friends do not just follow your destiny, make a destiny to follow! And the rest will be Makbub.

Cheers,
Ninad Dighe.

Rationality in Faith!

If your question your faith and there arises even the slightest doubt about your beliefs in your mind, you are following your faith blindly. Blind faith I believe is like, walking into a hungry lion’s den believing the lion won’t harm you because your faith tells you so.

Why do people follow their faith so blindly? And why don’t most say, right I believe in most of what you said but hang on a minute, why should I listen to all you say without any rational consideration to all your arguments?

If anybody ever gets to reading this I would like to hear from you in my comments.

Cheers,

Ninad Dighe.

In My Religion

I don’t believe in Heaven and Hell as my religion speaks of none (this is intended as pun)…
I feel the notion of torturing someone for eternity for 60 years of sin is absurd

That too When you leave your body here on earth.

If you say God loves every living thing, then why didn’t he make the lions vegetarian and you say it’s a sin if I eat meat?

I am not an atheist but I do not go by religion, I believe that is what corrupts God.

If by changing religion I could meet God, I do not want to meet such a God who judges me by my religion. For if he is God he shall understand, if he does not I better not meet such a supreme being since now God shall not remains "the God" in my mind.

Do not ask me to pray to God through a medium when I can pray to him directly. Don’t give my God a form as I like God unseen.

If anything here must be a sin I would say it is blind faith. (Let me leave the argument at this, but I will argue why, some other day.)

What God desires from me, not that I know.

What you ask me to blindly follow is not that for sure.

What is God’s wish, how are you to know.

What God desires of me, he will tell me for sure!

In my religion I say, is no religion at all.

Ninad Dighe.

Nature’s Idiots

Nature and technology are at a constant war where technology produces idiot proof products while nature idiots... as of now nature is winning.. The exact quote by author Rich Cook, "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning."

I believe nature is producing more and more idiots because we are making products for idiots. Things have become so simple that we can now play games sitting at home while kids pop pills for everything that was normal when I grew up in the 1980’s (Hyperactivity, too enthusiastic and more). It is just evolution taking its course in the millions who refrain from using their brains by inhibiting all the functions which are not necessary and intelligence is one of them.

More so I believe that the developed nations are producing more idiots than ever. With all their schemes of providing the public with all the aids and public funds has taken away their ambition of becoming someone! I have seen this attitude among people “Why do I have to worry? My government will look after me. I just need some extra cash for personal enjoyment”. I won’t say government help is bad but, at what cost?

We are to be blamed for more idiots on earth now than before. As an old saying goes “Necessity is the mother of inventions”, what if we have no necessities remaining what will happen to invention? That just what’s happening where companies tell you what you need rather than you telling them what we want. For example: bottled water, sun cream (we survived a million years without it; how suddenly the sun’s causing cancers?), iphone, ipad, blue ray, 4g, wi and much more. But again not much is wrong with having these technological advances but where do we draw the line: saying this is good for us and this is not.

Think over it, if you still know what that means.

Ninad Dighe.

(30^th June 2010)

Margaret Stewart: How YouTube thinks about copyright | Video on TED.com

Margaret Stewart: How YouTube thinks about copyright | Video on TED.com

In my Religion.

I believe in your beliefs,

Not, my beliefs are wrong.

I reason with your reasons

Just, why my reasons are wrong?

You fight for your reasons

With which you were just born.

So when I question all faith

Tell me, why am I always wrong?

--Ninad Dighe--

The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, Summary.

I am not a big fan of motivational book but I kind of like reading them for the short stories within them. These stories are kind of more motivating than the book and the authors point of view. The first motivational book I read was “You Can Win” by Shiv Khera, the book had so many short stories in it, which I enjoyed reading. I don’t think I read much of what the author had to say about motivation but I do remember taking the books and reading almost all the short stories within more than once.

With the same motivation of finding short motivational stories in the book “The Monk Who Sold his Ferrari” by Robin Sharma, I borrowed the book from my cousin. I was disappointed as there were not any such stories, the one or two that were there, were not so captivating to me. However the book is written in a different style like a novel about the life changing experience of a very successful lawyer. The book is nicely written and worth a read, as I said I am not a fan of motivational book but a fan of books and believe there is always something to learn from everything. So I present to you the summary of the book here.

The Monk Who sold his Ferrari in Short by Ninad Dighe J

Disclaimer (like the ones in movies and advts) : If you want to know the why’s, how’s and what’s please buy the book and read for yourself.

According to the author there are 7 timeless virtues to enlightened living.

Mastering your mind:

Your mind is like a big garden which you can build and nurture the way you want yourself to be. The thought you plant in this garden is what you want to see yourself as or your dreams. Negative or bad thoughts are like weed which spoil the beauty of your garden and should be avoided. Thoughts are physical things which you as a gardener can control and with your conscious mind must allow only good thoughts to be planted in your garden (which is the subconscious mind).

The book “Power of Your Subconscious Mind” by Joseph Murphy is all about the above concept. Yes, I read that book too, just to see what the hype is all about.

Follow Your Purpose:

We are here for a purpose, now that is an age old mystery which we have not solved, I mean the question “why are we here?” According to the author our purpose is to follow our dream and act accordingly to achieve our dream. The author suggests that we break our dreams into smaller dreams as in personal, financial, family etc and achieve each one individually.

Practice Kaizen:

Kaizen is a Japanese concept of self improvement. Constantly review yourself and try to improve something about you, everyday. The author then explains the importance of rituals and says that we have to cultivate certain rituals that will help up make our life better. Example will be getting up early, meditating, listening to music and/or reading a book, etc.

Live with Discipline:

To put this in short, practice the rituals with discipline. It is important to stick to your routine and cultivate good habits and never delay anything that you thing might be beneficial to you. Do not put away anything for later just because you do not like doing it or you cannot find time for it. Sleep early and get up early, this will give you more time to do more things.

Respect your time:

Same old, time importance thing. Respect your time and the time of others. Give more importance to the people and things that matter to you, focus on priorities. Most importantly learn to say ‘NO’ and live as if today is your last day.

Selflessly serve other:

This is self explanatory. Give, whatever in whichever way you can, not just wealth.

Embrace the Present:

Live in the present or embrace the present of present. Enjoy what you have and do not just worry about what you could have. By worrying too much about what you don’t have, that way you will grow old not enjoying what you have. This is very true, though the author is not the first to suggest it, we have always had that feeling: when we were in school we wanted to be in college and when in college we said school was the best time in my life and so forth.*

(This chapter had one good story that I liked, but the story is similar to the movie ‘Click’ staring Adam Sandler.)

That was the summary of the whole book.

Something I did not like about the book was, there is too much emphasis on Sivana and Yogi Raman, why not use secondary reference like the teacher or the sage. The words Sivana and Yogi Raman appear so many time that it get annoying after some time*. And everything is good till the time he references hut of roses more than a couple of time. Come on keep it real, hut of roses is a bit too flimsy.

All the techniques mentioned are difficult to practice but not impossible. Overall it’s a good book to read. I would not say it is a motivational book but a book that would help you enrich your life.

*This experience might differ from person to person.

Ninad Dighe

You know what…

I have had this blog for a long time and haven’t typed in here for a long time.

Ya like ages.

So I thought to myself.. and I quote J“ why do I have a blog when I am not going to update it”. Hmmm so I thought let me update my blog every now and then from now on.

Some days back I saw this program on BBC iplayer called ‘Bang Goes the Theory’.. it was the first episode I saw of it and kind of liked it. In this particular episode they were talking about how to improve your memory or brain power. They also talked about are those memory enhancing games you get these days… if they are effective or not?

Over all the summary of the program is as follows:

You might be disappointed to know.. or might be you, might not be disappointed (how the hell am I supposed to know??) any way..

Memory enhancing games do not enhance your memory.. they may make you smarter at solving puzzles or doing crossword they surely do not make you any smarter.. now as it is : practice makes perfect.

Ya like Einstein invented E=MC^2 by playing games.

And playing games is going to make you remember your girl friend’s birthday.. but forgetting it once surely will…

Ya old joke

But sill rocks

Now coming to the point: listening to music and exercising before you do some brain cracking work will make you smarter.. that’s what they said.. yes and do not listen to music while working on something it distracts. Hmmm but I guess not everyone is distracted that way… whatever suits you man.

Ya like exercising and listing to music before you solve those memory enhancing games that will make you smarter…. What’s the point.

I have been thinking of getting smarter myself.. by listening to music while exercising … but most of the time I end up only listening to music.

I don’t know how long I am going to keep doing this.. but I hope to start now..

Ya as if anyone is going to read it or you could try getting a job.

Cheers,

Nd Ninad

What to make of this?

While taking an on-line aptitude test I got the following message:

"Do you want to try and automatically retrieve or manually enter your responses?"

1.Yes 2. NO

What do I make of this? Which response makes sense Yes or No?

And these are the people who design tests for graduate entrance....

If it has to be interpreted in any other way let me know....

Don't Just Follow the RULES

Treat books as facts, I don’t mean all the books, books which give you knowledge not comic books and novels. When you have the facts or let us say information with you it is up to you what you do with it.

If you take any thoughts presented in a book and use it as a way of life by following each and every rule in it, you become very predictable and your actions become very annoying. We could as well have a computer program your actions and we would not lose anything. Over all the beauty of that computer or robot is that we could at the least SHUT the freaking thing off.

The beauty of life is in its unpredictability. That is, given the same set of rules to you that everyone else has but you using them your way than just follow them would produce beautiful results which are different and more often than not, are better. I could go on giving you the example of Newton, Einstein and so on. Might be what you think is different to me but I believe “if it works for me it does not mean it will work for you.”

Example: When Newton talked about gravity every one following Newton created this Newtonian philosophy where everything could be given a formula and everything had to follow a given set of rules. However when few scientists found that the universe does not follow a pre-set set of rules, nobody believed them. This is evident in the lives of Alan Mathison Turing and Boris Pavlovich Belousov. Which had given the world chaos theory, which states that: given all the same set of inputs to a simple equation when everything about the input is known the output is always different when the equations are run in the same known condition. This is also known as the Butterfly effect and well explained by Edward Norton Lorenz and further mathematically explained by Benoît B. Mandelbrot. Just to make a point that when we follow a preset set of rules we tend to overlook the other possibilities that could make thing better.

In my MiNd- Ninad Dighe

Humans are Idiots.. Unless proven otherwise!

All humans are idiots. We all are born idiots, but we are born intelligently idiot. We are, such big idiots when born, that we pee in our pants, pooh wherever we like, don’t know how to speak nor do we know how to eat. But we learn, learn without being thought. We learn by seeing our parents and observing our neighborhood. We imitate the society in which we our born. We speak the language we hear, nobody teaches us to do lot of things but we learn.

The only thing that we keep with ourselves after we are long gone is our name and our religion, the best part of life is, neither of it is our choice. We don’t choose our name nor our religion.

I like studying people, know their behavior, their thoughts and love to know their experiences in life. My life is too short too live their experiences and make their mistakes to learn for myself. It’s so intriguing to know that experience is the name given to men’s mistake. After studying people for fifteen years, the first five years of my life I have been a big idiot. Not that I am not an idiot now, as it will contradicts my theory of, ‘all humans are idiots’, however I am more sensible now. This sudden illumination of knowledge that I got for the prize of age has allowed me to categorized humans into four types:
· Those who think for themselves.
· Those who cant think for themselves.
· Those who don’t want to think for themselves.
· Those who don’t care what others think of them.

The world is made up of smart idiots and duffer idiots. The smart idiots use the duffer idiots to achieve their goals. The duffer idiots never learn and are never tired of being push around. The only problem with the duffer idiots is that they don’t think for them selves, others think for them. Their decisions depend on what others say and what the society they live-in, will think of them, whatever happens they will remain timid.

Those who think for themselves:

On this earth there are very few who think for themselves. Then they realize how stupid we were behaving not following our desires, but just taking things for granted and letting others make decisions for us. When you stop being what people want you be and start perusing your own dreams, that’s when you have stared thinking for yourself. Trying to live life the way you want is the most difficult thing to do, you will come with opposition in all what you do. To meet opposition with courage is success.

We come across many people, who, when not having anything to do with our lives try to influence our decisions in life. They might be our family or friends. Unknowingly many humans have this tendency of not letting people to do something that’s a bit different form the traditional believes and customs. The biggest example (at-least in India) is that when couples go for love marriage. No matter what there will be opposition even though eventually things happen the way the lovers want. It’s all I feel to do with the feeling of “I was not allowed to do ‘it’ in my life and I will not allow others to succeed in ‘it’.” Were ‘it’ could mean anything.

The people who think for themselves are not rebellious. They do what is right for themselves, without hurting the sentiments of others. Also taking in consideration, others thoughts and rights are as important as their own. Thinking for yourself means not following someone just because thousand others follow him or her. People blindly follow cultures without questioning why we do so. There are certain reasons for all the stuff we do, but now the reason for doing it is all lost in the complications of our daily life. We just follow it in the name of custom and religion. If we question the people who can’t think for themselves, they turn defensive and not to be termed idiots they say “it’s a matter of faith and religion.” As kids we ask questions, like why? and how?, gradually we stop asking question, and latter we are trained not to ask.

The main reason we stop asking question is that we don’t get answers, then we become lazy because nobody knows the answer and we’ll have to find it ourselves. So we stop asking questions, so we don’t have to find answers for it. At this point in life we start following what other people do and what the so called society follows. What I want to say is well explained in the following experiment,
“ Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling. Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable.
Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.
One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys are doing the obvious. But undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the ladder. All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why.
In a similar way each old monkey is replaced. Now there are eight new ones. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water. None of them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why. ”

The above experiment is a copy paste, but it does explain us how we have been following culture and religion without knowing and thinking why we do it.
Mahatma Gandhi and Newton are two examples of people who thought for themselves. There are many examples of normal people with extraordinary deeds but lets just take these two examples. Gandhi didn’t just follow the injustice on people when he was in South Africa, he thought different from the rest and stood against it for the right of himself and others. What if Newton just walked away, not questioning ‘why the apple dint just fly, why it fell on earth?’ Not that gravity dint exists before Newton, its that nobody ever questioned its existence and nobody ever thought over it.

The easiest thing to do on earth is to follow other, follow successful people. It is very difficult to think for yourself, follow what you think and question yourself why do we do what we are doing. When I started questioning myself, I felt we do many things for no reason at all. Many a times we do things just because everyone around us does it and if I don’t behave like them they will think that something is wrong with me. It the same with fashion, who defines fashion? (There are many such examples.)

I believe that the world will be a better place if all of us start thinking for ourselves.


Those who cant think for themselves.

If Mr. Darwin is right, if all humans originated from apes, how did some become kings and how did all these countries come into existence? How, I still wonder, there are many theories to it but no conclusive proof. But all people are so absorbed in their own problems and their selfish world, nobody does want to know. The reason I believe is that the intelligent idiots can push the dumber idiots around to get their work done and these dumber idiots will never learn. (If you are at this point thinking, ‘will never learn’ what? its time for you to start thinking for your self.)

People just get lost in their day to day life style, where unknown people and circumstances start influencing their life. Take for example advertisements, these commercials don’t force you to buy products. Nobody catches your hand, drags you to the super market and forces you to buy a particular product but still companies spend millions on advertising. This is what’s I call influence on people who have stopped thinking for themselves. Life is not easy on anyone, but we make it harder for ourselves. We have stopped enjoying today because we are more concerned about our future. Its always the case with humans when we start getting things easily, we stop appreciating it.
When people stop thinking for themselves, their minds can easily be controlled by others. Who use these people for their own selfish motives.

People, who are easily influenced by other people are never successful in their life. They always try to find refuge by being a part of others motives, unknowingly. They can be brainwashed very easily, so we have people who are terrorists, suicide bombers and those who start riots and bandhs on influence of politicians. Why do you think here in India even when people know, that some politicians are corrupt and criminals, but still they get them elected. Most of us are like crabs in a basket, whenever one tries to escape to freedom the other pulls him\ her down. All never try to achieve a common goal.

Think for a minute, who does the thinking for you? Your circumstances? Your boss? Your future? The people around you? Your society?
Was your last decision, your own, was it not influenced by any one remotely? We are living a life not of our own, our life is always almost influenced by circumstances and people. How many times have you stopped yourself from buying something you liked? From going some place you wanted to go? How many times did you kill your desire of going places just because you dint have the money?


Those who don’t want to think for themselves.

It’s the truth of life and a management theory, people first work for survival, then to make their future secure and once they feel that they have enough, they indulge themselves in luxury. Once they have luxury and things that they don’t need, in excess, they think of power. Last comes charity. I don’t say this is always the case but it usually is. Many on this earth, just some how reach a position of making their future secure and in doing so forget to live their present.

People in this category are wanderers, they keep wanting a solution for life. They have a lot of questions that they want answers to but never end up getting them. They just don’t get enough of what they want. These people don’t want to think about their wants and needs but they want answers, answers to life, answers to why things happen in a particular manner. I don’t know if they get the answer to what they want, but their quest to finding an answer becomes an addiction to them. They enjoy the beauty of life but not their own. I would put scientist and research scholars in this group.

I have noticed myself and also from small talks I get to hear about others, that girls loose their ability to think for themselves when they are in (yes, yes you guessed it right) love. If you have seen a girl in love you will realize it. They just don’t care about what the world think or what’s right for them, they just do what the guy says and think is right. I know that girls won’t agree with me, but they don’t realize it. I used to use this to my advantage in college, whenever I failed to get a favor or notes from a girl. I had a work around, I would ask the guy whom I knew the girl was in love with to get it for me. Sure enough the girl herself would come, I know I was being an ass however my work would be done. Smart me!

What everyone seeks is a decent life and the way we look at it depends on the way we think. So controlling our mind becomes very, very important.


Those who don’t care what others think of them.

There are people who don’t care about the world, well even themselves. They just want to enjoy, however their definition of enjoyment is looked down upon by the socialized world. I would put hippies, drug addicts and those people who don’t care about their image in the social world around them into this category.

Knowing the world and the people in it is difficult. Classifying humans into types is even more difficult. I have tried in putting my thoughts in public. Naturally though, all people could lie in one of the above categories. Your definition of each category might differ. What I put forward are my thoughts.

So into which category do you put yourself? Life is not finding a way around the challenges but facing them. As more you try to go around it the further you take yourself from your goal, when you face it you are cutting a straight path through your challenges, a step closer to your goal.

Enjoy life today because nobody has seen tomorrow.

Cheers,

Ninad Dighe.

PS: This is an old post.. i thought it will be nice to put this in place where all my other post are.. Together.

My Statement of Purpose (SOP)

I haven’t blogged in a long time..  I have been lazy and busy.. however I won’t be able to write here…. I don’t know for how long..

I am posting my SOP (Statement of purpose), which I had written with lot of pain. You shall realize when you need to write one.. its not easy writing about yourself. This SOP helped me get offers from 5 colleges for my MBA, here in the UK. I hope it will help you make your own, using mine as a reference.

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

 

 

Inspiration can come in many forms. My propensity for acquiring an MBA started when I was in school. The school I went to had a system wherein, each class had four houses and each house had an elected representative. The representative had the job of motivating the students in the house to gain points for the house. The points were given in terms of group behavior, academic performance and projects assigned. Throughout my schooling I have been the captain of my class house. This has taught me how a good leader can do wonders in motivating others towards achieving a common goal. I learned that good leaders are the ones “who motivate others to be good leaders rather than followers.”

 

Being elected as troop leader for a ten day national level (Boscoree) scouts and guides camp for my state; enhanced my leadership qualities. This trained me at an early age to organize and prioritize my job and finish my tasks in the given timeline. Being a troop leader I had to follow orders from seniors, work out a strategy and motivate my troop to get the work done in the allocated time. I felt motivated to take up management as a career when we won the best troop at the camp. Though at that time I did not know what an MBA was, I knew then that I would do better in life if I worked as a manager interacting with people. I have not always won however I have not let failure deter me. It has taught me more than what success could ever teach. When I was in the tenth grade, I stood for the head-boy elections at school. Winning this election was the most coveted goal of every school boy in the tenth grade. As part of the election process we had to visit every class from third grade to tenth grade to campaign our cause. The main idea of the whole process was to introduce all the candidates to the students and give the students and staff an idea of what to expect from the potential school head boys. After the elections, students I didn’t know came up to me and told me, they had voted for me because of my campaign speech. I didn’t win the elections that year but I did learn an invaluable lesson that we could influence people no matter what the end results were. My years in school harnessed the leadership qualities in me, which continued to be my asset throughout my years in college and later on at my workplace.

 

During my eleventh and twelfth grade I voluntarily joined the Youth Red Cross (YRC). I was elected as a treasurer from my college for it. As a treasurer I was given a job to motivate students to sell Red Cross stickers and raise funds for the Red Cross. This enhanced my salesmanship abilities; I also learned to handle and manage money responsibly. Our college was among the highest fund raiser that year. I have also contributed in whatever way I could towards the society by raising funds, collecting relief   materials and participating in blood donation camps.

 

My experiences in school led me to realize that I was suitable for and felt most comfortable in leadership positions. I have always been intrigued by business for its similarity to a game of chess: it rewards innovative thinking and demands foresight. I chose to obtain a bachelor’s degree in electronics and telecommunication engineering knowing very well that a good corporate job in the I.T industry would serve as a handy basis for subsequent career in management. At college I was always an eager member of the team in charge of organizing cultural and technical events. I voluntarily helped in getting our college’s first magazine published. I was also on the editorial board of our college magazine.

 

I am currently working as a ‘Software Engineer’ in one of the most reputed firms in India, my domain of specialization being ‘Customer Relationship Management ’using Siebel. I am proud to be a part of a large team where we are encouraged to suggest and implement innovative ideas. Working alongside my Project Managers affords me an understanding of the corporation’s infrastructure and of the industry’s informal norms. It has also provided me with an opportunity to observe them in action from an insider’s position. Once I have completed my MBA studies, I aim to join the ranks of the head management team in a similar large corporation.

 

To this effect, I am eager to further the basis of my knowledge through MBA studies at your esteemed University. As an overseas student I look forward to interacting with the myriad professional backgrounds and cultures from across the globe, which will give me a database of perspectives and biases invaluable in today’s competitive, global, multi-cultural business world. The University curriculum, faculty and teaching methodology most appeals me. The program, focused on preparing MBA students for leadership positions, encourages independent, out-of-the-box thinking. I want to be a part of the intimate campus atmosphere which creates a comfortable and relaxed, yet inspiring learning environment.

 

I look forward to partaking in the MBA program at your University, where I will have the opportunity to grow academically and professionally, while influencing my peers with my experience and knowledge.

 

 

Ninad N. Dighe.

Leading the right way.

I have been busy, no time to post a post here. I am presently studying again. Up to doing my masters in business administration. I had written an assignment some time back; nothing to post recently so thought of posting this.

-------Leading the right way.------------

“The role of the leaders is to produce more leaders and not followers” Ralph Nader, American author and political leader. Leadership is a part of management, to be a good manager you have to be an efficient and effective leader. Many of the decisions that are made in an organization are mainly the brainchild of a single person. Even those decisions that are made by consulting a group of people; it comes to one person either to implement it or veto it. Even when implementing a certain plan in an organization; the leader under whom the plan is implemented can make all the difference in the success or the failure of the plan. It is thus important that organization have managers who are effective and efficient leaders.

There are no fixed rules or behavioural traits to define a perfect leader or manager. In my essay here on I will use the word leader for manager, though leadership is a trait in a good manager it is what that makes him\her standout in a group. The managers can acquire the management knowledge which is mainly planning, communication and organizational skills however leadership skills are personal and are built over a period of years or as argued by many are inborn i.e. leaders are born leaders. I believe that everybody are born leaders, they just need to realize their potential and channel their energies into being effective leaders. Not all are successful in doing so, leaders have to be self motivated only than can they motivate others. “Some people are born more naturally to leadership than others. Most people don't seek to be a leader. Those who want to be a leader can develop leadership ability. And many qualities of effective leadership, like confidence and charisma, continue to grow from experience in the leadership role.” Author unknown, available from http://www.businessballs.com/leadership.htm; (2000).
Hence it is important that organizations find potential leaders early mainly in colleges and university and train them to be effective leaders of the future. The sooner people are made aware of their potentials, sooner they will be effective leaders.

Why Choose leaders early?

In a study done on the West point cadets by Bartone, P.T., Snook, S.A., Forsythe, G.B., Lewis, P., Bullis, R.C. (2007), in "Psychosocial development and leader performance of military officer cadets", Leadership Quarterly relates the mental development of a person during college or university years to potential of leadership.
In their study they found that students that showed greatest psychosocial growth also
demonstrated specific leadership behaviour in their interactions with colleagues. Many a time academic marks are considered sole criteria for selections of candidates into managerial positions in an organization. However over the years this idea for recruiting candidates has changed. Many companies are looking at the overall performance of a candidate while selecting them for certain positions in the organization. If we find potential leaders earlier in their life and train them when they are in their college and universities, the organizations will be able to make effective leaders for them. Hiring and training people earlier in their career will not only guarantee quality leaders for them but also loyal leaders. Choosing students early and making them familiar with the process of the organization and bringing senior managers to share their experience and to train these students will put a sense of belonging into them. They will realize that the organization cares for them and realizes their importance thus gaining their loyalty and long term association towards the organization.

Training Leaders:

In a study done by Douglas A. Ready and Jay. A Conger (2003), “Why leadership development efforts fail”, in an era of instability and indecision many organizations depend on their leaders to make the right decision and direct their companies through the quagmire of issues. The decision of the leader often spells the difference between success and failure. If the leaders are not well informed and trained their decision could have disastrous effects on the organization. Citing an example of a gardener the authors explain that “how many keen gardeners have learned the hard way that tackling common weeds without thoroughly digging out the roots does little more than temporarily delay the next outcrop?”, thus a an inefficient leader might temporarily come out with a solution for a problem which may have detrimental effects on the organization in the years to come.

In an e-journal by Emerald group publication, Strategic direction (2008), Leaders are made not born, the author (not mentioned) highlight the point that training the managers in the company could make them better leaders. The author cites an example saying that many big companies in the world like HP(Hewlett Packard), GE(General Electric), Capital One and American Express are investing a lot of money and senior manager time in training their managers. This will help in creating a better working environment in the company and thus improving the efficiency and productivity of the organization. When senior managers share their experience and provide the junior managers tips on the working of the organization, I believe the chances of blunder and inefficiency of an organization will reduce to a large extent. With such training and experience sharing by the seniors the junior managers will be able to come out with better and innovative methods of functioning an organization.


Conclusion:

In the study by Neider L. and A. Schriesheim, University of Miami (1988); Making Leadership Effective: A Three Stage Model, say that many authors and researchers have tried to classify leadership traits of a leader into three distinct phases the intelligence phase, behavioural phase and contingency phase. The authors argue that even though leadership traits can be put into theory the application of these varies depending on the situation and background of the problem and the leader himself. Though these traits are broad and person dependent they still hold true to some extend in choosing an effective leader.

In my opinion leaders are the most important pillars in an organization. It is the leaders in an organization which govern the success or the failure of it. This does not mean that with good leaders the organization may not fail but truly enough the chances of its collapse will be reduced to a large extend. Thus to make an efficient leader from a good leader; organizations must train their potential and existing leaders. Training will further reduce the chances of a failure. Thus the earlier we train people to be efficient leaders the better.

Organizations should find potential leaders when they are students in college or university as this is the time in the life of people when they are ready to learn and ready to accept changes in their life. As researches has shown that the peak of psychological grown in a person is during his/her college years. Hence if organizations can recruit and train potential leaders when they are studying their degree, they could reduce their chances of failure, increase their profits and reduce costs of training.

Ninad Dighe.

• Reference:
  http://www.businessballs.com
  http://www.emeraldinsight.com.eresources.shef.ac.uk/
  Bartone, P.T., Snook, S.A., Forsythe, G.B., Lewis, P., Bullis, R.C. (2007), "Psychosocial development and leader performance of military officer cadets", Leadership Quarterly, Vol. 18
  STRATEGIC DIRECTION , VOL. 24 NO. 4 2008, pp. 10-13, Q Emerald Group Publishing Limited.
  Ready, D.A., Conger, J.A. (2003), "Why leadership development efforts fail", MIT Sloan Management Review
  Linda L. Neider, Chester A. Schriesheim, Making Leadership Effective: A Three Stage Model; Journal of Management Development; Volume: 7 Issue: 5; 1988 General review.
  http://star.shef.ac.uk/; The University of Sheffield, library site.

How to win a girlfriend?

Girls don’t understand how difficult it is for guys to get one to love them. Its easier to jump into a lions den then to propose, trust me its not easy. I was discussing this topic with some girls and got some insight into their psychic or mind. This article is more about how to approach a girl, more than how to win her over, wining a girls heart is personal. I can’t teach you that, if you don’t have what a girl wants in you, you will never be able to impress her. This blog will help you in some way I guess.

There are 2 common ways in which guys approach a girl. Firstly if you like a girl, you cant directly go to the girl and ask her out, considering the Indian culture were girls are still reserved about moving out with guys this technique probably wont work. You might loose any future chances with the girl, first impression is the last impression. I don’t say this is a bad way of doing things, nevertheless it works, sometimes. If the girl is open minded and… hmmm you fill that with whatever you want. For many guys approaching a girl they don’t know, is a big task. They have to think ten time before starting a conversation. What should I say that’s smart enough for the girl to respond? What will be her reply? Will she make fun of me in front of her friends? Does she have a boyfriend already? Might be is stronger than me(he he he)? If she makes some nasty comments I would be ridiculed in front of everyone. Those are some of the thoughts that go through the mind of a guy normally. Girls don’t like this approach they probably think the guy is a flirt and just wants some good time.

The other way is to become friend of the girl. Let her know you well and start spending time with her, then share thoughts with her and become good friends. Now the world thinks you both are going out but you know its not that way. After a few months you collect the courage of asking her the ultimate question. With all the thoughts in your mind, if she reject you, your friendship might end? All that kept aside you manage the courage to ask her and she replies
“I thought we were just good friend and I never thought about you that way.” And you would be saying why the hell don’t you thing about me that way now. Many of you might have gone through this situation if you ever tried this approach. I read an interesting mail the other day which explains this scenario, it goes something this way:
When a girl says I thought we where just good friends it’s like, you go for an interview and after the interview the interviewer say
‘You are the best suited guy for this position, your resume is ideal however we won’t hire you for this position. We might hire an drunkard idiot but not you, we will use your resume as a model to compare other resumes but we won’t hire you. However we will, time to time keep calling you to tell you how bad the guy we hired is.’
The point is this approach of making the girl your good friend and then proposing never works. Some it does but it’s a big risk trying this way.

What way do we approach a girl if the most common ways don’t always work? I had been discussing this with a friend of mine whose a girl and not my girlfriend. To cut a long story short, she said if you like someone you should make it clear before you start a friendship with her. That way you wont have to loose a friend just because she thinks you are nothing more than her best friend. The big question here is how do you do that? If I tell you how to do that you are just stealing ideas, I personally don’t have many and I don’t want you ruining my chance of finding a girlfriend by blowing my cover.

I was reading a book on body language and its mentioned there on how to find if a girl is interested in you? There are many examples stated there, one in particular I would like to mention here. Many girls check out guys, you might, while walking down a street find many girls giving a brief glance at you, that’s good for many at-least someone’s checking you out. But the book says if a girl stares at you for more than 3 seconds than you could be rest assured she is interested in you. Eyes are the most important organs in finding the right girlfriend and starting a romantic relationship. Hmm love at first sight, it does not mean blind people don’t fall in love, their world is a bit different. Some scientists say that the way you smell might just get you a date (I have a whole blog on this if you are interested in reading).

I have met many beautiful girls but I would never try to impress them as they keep proving my theory of beauty and brains don’t go together. The good news for girls is that the sex ratio in India is low* it means you have lot of choice. So don’t be dishearten when you leave your guy or are ditched by one, there are so many out there that it wont take long for you to find a new one. Guys there is so much competition out there if you shy you will remain behind and somebody else will take the chance.

Guys, have you given a thought that those with girlfriend always end-up getting new ones once they breakup and you don’t? Its just because you technique is wrong or your attitude is not right. Girls wont eat you up if you ask her out but you never know which one might turn out the girl of your dream. (Girls if you want a date I am single.)

Happy hunting. J

P.S: this article is not about finding a sexual partner its about finding love.

*That’s actually bad news for the country and girls but my point here is different.

Once At My Room.

This happened long time back, acctually deleted a blog i had written long back and pasted it here.. enjoy!
30 August 2006

Yesterday night…. We had a scene at our room… we had had our diner and were relaxing just than somebody rang our door bell very violently…. It was like, if we opened the door the next thing the person would do was break our heads.

I opened the door… there was an quit old man, should be 60+, thin structured totally drunk .. you could smell the stink of alcohol (for those alcohol crazy guys I shouldn’t use the word stink you’ll can read it as fragrance) probably for a mile… trying to gain entry into our house that too when I was standing at the door. The guy had forgotten the very existence of his building… probably looking for building 43 had reached in building 12A….
Where the hell is 43 and where the heaven is 12A both this buildings are geographically in different worlds… see the affect of alcohol on men in general… he had forgotten his very existence.

For us the fun dint end there … some how we put him in the lift send him to the ground floor. That was after telling him he was in the wrong building… don’t call us fools we know he wouldn’t have understood what we told him but what else could we do. The whole story does not end here… now he had become a program an infinite loop, he would go to the ground floor then come back to our door ring the bell … we to did the same the second time… put him… lift… ground and back it continued. Now we had decided not to open the door. Again the bell rang, but now there was a change the door dint open… we watched him through the eye piece on the door.. now seeing that the door dint open he went back to the life… ground… back…bell TING TONG… back to .. lift and the loop continued … I had to end the program…

Well it all ended at last when I got the watchman to guide this man to this house …..

Life is not easy on any one but then why do people make is more difficult for themselves.

Love you All.

Family.

She stood at the door with her hands tugged behind her back trying to hide the rose she plucked form hers mothers favorite plant. She was in pain, her white little fingers had turned red, with the thorn that pricked her beautiful fingers. However her large green eyes shone in the sun with anticipation of the surprise she was to give her father. At four she had not yet joined school, but she was up early today just to wish her father happy birthday. She had learnt to set the alarm clock and even asked her mother to wake her up early, but she was up even before her mother would wake her. She knew her mother would not wake her up anyway.

Yesterday she sat in-front of the mummy’s plant, that’s what she called it, because she was not allowed to play even close to is, asking the plant to give its best flower tomorrow. Her mother had seen her sitting there, “you are not going any near to the rose, if touch the plant mummy is not going o talk to you”, said she making a gesture with her hand that she wouldn’t think twice before she hits her. But there the little girl stood at the door, here naked legs jumping to reach the door bell. She looked even more beautiful today, her fair face had turned pink in the morning sun, more with happiness, but deep within her mind she knew her mother would be furious for what she had just done. The pain in her own cute little fingers, dint bother her that moment. After couple of tries she was successful in reaching the bell. She knew that her father would open the door, he always sat in the living room reading the newspaper. She had seen her mother in the kitchen getting the breakfast ready.

The door opened her father stood there, he was surprised to see his daughter at the front door, “what are you doing out here dear? How did you get out here?”

“Happy birthday daddy!”, said she holding the flower upfront.

Her father felt good, he took the flower and picked up his little angel in his arms. He loved her kiss even more today. “My little naughty girl” said he and kissed her pink cheeks, that’s when he noticed her skirt with droop of blood wiped to it.

“what’s this?”

“Nothing!” said she.

He realized it was a thorn that had pricked her, “show me where you got hurt.”

“Nowhere.. daddy.”

“The sweetest things are always protected by nature and now you see why your mummy used to say not to touch the rose.”

“Its ok, its not paining.” Said she.

Her father more happy himself today. Usually she never showed so much courage.

Her mother never missed a thing of what had happened. She was the watching right from the time her dad opened the door. She was furious about the rose, however she dint mind it today. As her daughter had not plucked the rose for herself but for her dad, it made her feel good and her daughter feel proud. She dint want to spoil the environment in the house. For once today she dint mind her daughter being a brat. They loved her beautiful smile.

Lover.

He had seen her first eight months back standing in a queue, to get their college procedures done. They had just finished school. Cupid struck, eyes met however it wasn’t love at first site. To his luck she was in his class and lab batch for the next two years. It took some staring, long talks, lot of his attention, competition and some jealously for him to finally get close to her.

Now it was more evident that she was in love with him. Now guys envied him as he had the girls they desired and the girls hmmm.. its always difficult to tell, even if they are in love it always difficult to tell. Now they roamed together, talked, laughed together, she always wanted him to be around him. She got him books and poems on love to read. He loved the attention he got and the jealously of his friends. As days turned to months she always taunted, “there are some people who are in love and don’t have the guts to say so.” It was his first time, never had he said “I love you” to anybody. After some impatient nights and long thoughts latter he gave in to his temptation. Let me propose was what his mind and heart told him. The only thought that kept him from proposing was that he might loose his friendship, however he had know her now for eight months and he knew she was in love with him, whatever might be the outcome he thought their friendship would remain.

That day they were early to the class. It was raining heavily outside, they stood at the window talking to each other. He said it to himself “I will do it today.“ But she was more eager to hear it from him.

“You wanted to tell me something the other day.” Said she.

“Ya, I will tell you some other day.”

“What wrong in today?”

“Nothing” after a short pause he said “what is right anyway!”

“Very funny” she said sarcastically. “Tell na what you wanted too. I wont feel bad.”

That was an indication for him, he thought she knew what was coming.

“What?” said he, as she gave him a look of a teacher waiting for an answer when they catch their prey unaware.

“Nothing… I m waiting.” Was her reply.

He turned away from her now looking out of the window. He dint want to watch into those beautiful eyes when he said what he was about to say.

“I like you a lot…” he said, not wanting to say the word love or it just dint come out of his mouth, whatever it was she got the message.

He turned to look at her, she was blushing and trying hard not to.

“Don’t you think we are a bit young for all this?” was her reply, the first thing that came to his mind was nothing….. then the thought “what the hell, we are 16.. hmm might be we are a bit young” (according to Indian standards.)

“Ya but we could be really good friend..”

“Are we not” said she interrupting him.

After that followed a long lecture about career, studies and that stuff which he had no choice but to listen, he just wanted to run from there saying “well I know. Thank you.”

(As a writer I don’t want to bore you writing a lecture about career and stuff, we all have already heard it from our parents and teachers already. You all can just copy paste it here.)

Day passed by they got close, but then the holidays came now they had to choose a career. They kept in contact over the phone, they hardly met. As days passed both got preoccupied in the tension of results, scores and admission. The closeness between them became a bit loose. After all the procedures of getting into a degree college were done both ended up for the same degree course and in the same class and batch again. But things had changed a bit. After all this months she wanted more of him (time) so she tried to distance from him thinking he will come to her more often and they could spend more time together.

He away thought now something is wrong with her. The thought that she is ignoring him which troubled him more. She had found new friends who used to be with her always, he never got a chance to go and talk to her in privacy. He dint want to go to her and say lets just spend some time together but first you shush you friends way. He too had found new friend, he always used to hang around in the group where a fair number were girls. He was still in love with her, so even with all the girls in the group and in the college he never fell in love with any just that he couldn’t find anyone better, all the other girls were just good friends. But this made her jealous, she felt now he was ignoring her and him hanging around with other girls made her crazy. She tried indirectly to convey it to him, but boys will be boys they never understand till they are told directly in simple language what was been communicated and so he too never understood.

Day passed that way and their relationship went from bad to worse. Latter other guys jumped in, as she wanted to get over him she gave in fast to some guy who made her feel better. Life moves on for him, he dint get into any relationship as he dint find any girl worth running behind. Couple of years latter he got news that she got married to her parents choice.

(The above story is just a representation of my thoughts that not all colleges love turn into long term relationships. But yes, I could be wrong ten percent of the time, that means I am right 90 percent of the times… great. They are just statistics, you tell me which statistics are right anyway.)

Friendship.

There are so many examples in our daily life about friendship, that, I don’t want to make another. We don’t choose our family, we too some extend don’t choose our companion (lover) the only thing (not a thing, but.. anyway if you are good at English put the world you like) we choose are friends. Every thing in this world comes for a price the only relationship that’s very precious, almost price less but still free is friendship. We share more with our friends than in any other relationship. There is a bonding between friends which I call love, you don’t have to be political or diplomatic and don’t have to think before you talk to good friends. If a friend is hurt by what you say then probably there is no love in your relationship, probably you two are not as good friends after all. Good close friends are like (Taj Mahal*, Mogli and Baloo I am bad at this, “like…”) you say any damn thing to him/her they never mind (unless they have a mind).

(* I put that Taj Mahal there just to show you how bad I am at it.)

What all this means…

If you are reading this, I mean this line you probably are not bored of what I have typed. It took me days to reach this part myself.. mainly because I was busy.. doing nothing. I have come across people who tell me “what this hell, what a big blog this is and who the hell in this world will read it.” I forgive them because I love all humans no matter how big an IDIOT they are. I guess you might have know what this blog is all about, if you have not then I thing you are reading a blog of a drunken monkey who cant express his thoughts well enough. If you say its about relationships you are close but if you say its about how to murder you neighbor because he has got a better wife than you have, then probably you will have to read it again. I know what you are going to say “oh my god read this crap again, I better murder my neighbor.” This blog is all about LOVE. Yes I can’t teach you to murder your neighbor’s husband, but surely I can teach you how to love your neighbors wife. Non violence is better than violence any-time!, till the time your neighbor doesn’t murder you for loving his wife. Don’t complain to me all religions advocate: “Love thy neighbor.”

I believe that love can be put into three main categories:

• Love which you can’t choose. (Family, relatives.)
• Love which you choose. (Friends and pets.)
• And love that chooses you. (for Girls lover , guys stop thinking about sex.)

Now lets elaborate on all of the above.. “wait a minute are you writing a novel or a blog” Oh that’s my brain, it loves me and you so much. Now if you are forced to read it because I am around just, just tell me … say I am not interested in it, I will still love you no matter what, even more if you are a girl (but where’s that knife I brought .. don’t mind its my mind I have no control over it its some time quit loud .. I hope you still love me.)

Love is what a girl wants from are lover, the more she get the more she want. Ask a girl to define love and that would be the biggest mistake and if you are the type who, changes their girlfriend often, you would have to maintain a database about the definitions you get.Girls don’t ever ask a guy what love means… it means the same as what you think it means.

Oh I just forgot.. completely.. there is one more category to love.. the type where you have to keep reminding your self I love it, or you might join a terrorist organization just to learn how to use a hand grenade to destroy it. I love my WORK. I really love my work and SALARY.

I don’t know I feel like writing more and more (length wise), but then I feel the more I write, less the people will read.

FrOm the BrAiNs of,

NiNaD DiGhE.